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Who Are You Really Doing This For?

As we left Albania and headed to Kosovo, there was so much that was unknown to us. No surprise there… this is the World Race! With Albania being “ask the Lord” month, we were getting used to going with the flow and trusting God to guide us. We were told that we had a “loose” host connection in Kosovo. However, on the bus ride across the Albanian border into Kosovo, we still did not have the contact information for this “host” that we might partner with this month. We booked a place to stay for the month and headed to the capital of Kosovo which is Pristina! 

While on the bus about 2 hours from the capital, my team leader received a text from a pastor in Pristina. He let us know that they would be picking us up at the bus station and taking us to dinner. We get off the bus and right there are 3 people from the church to get us into a spacious van. We were brought to get some food then taken to their guest apartment where we got to stay the entire month! Talk about a red carpet experience… My team and I thought we were going to be mainly on our own this month, but we were so wrong! 

The church took us in, made sure we were okay and even gave us a bunch of groceries for the month! We jumped right into ministry with them and began attending their Sunday services which were always translated to English! (What a blessing!) We were the first team from the world race that has partnered with this church since before covid.

This month had it’s own highs and lows. It was truly wonderful to be a part of a ministry that was focused on reaching people in the country of Kosovo. Almost every day of the week this church was out in the community somehow and feeding the poor, going to village schools for kids ministry, doing door to door evangelism or staffing their community centers across the country with programs for kids and teenagers! I was thankful to be able to serve in so many different ways and to get to support what God was already doing there! (I plan on writing a separate blog with more details on how we got to serve!)

Now for the lows… that aren’t exactly lows when God comes in and teaches you something! I realized that I quickly fell into a trap of feeling like I needed to prove myself to those around me. It was shared with us that this church we were partnering with has not always had the best experience with American missionaries. It is sad to say that this is not the only time I’ve heard this in countries we are in. From knowing this, I instantly went into “prove that you and your team are different” mode. This meant I was going into each day hoping I wouldn’t mess up or affirm this stereotype of an American missionary. I believed that everyone would view us through this lens and not give us an honest chance. I began to question the impact that American missionaries can actually have. 

Over the month, God was kindly showing me that no matter what was believed about us or other missionaries… whether these things were true or not… the truth that I could stand on and rest in was that God wanted us there and brought us there! That alone should be enough for me to wake up everyday and serve for God and His approval alone! Not to serve to get the approval of others or try to prove that we are different. God was also helping me to see the hurt that people have experienced. He was showing me how to be understanding of that, but to not take it personally. 

It’s been a battle for me over some time trying to discern what God is wanting from me versus what I am making up in my head or concluding from others that He wants from me. God is gracious and is revealing to me what HE requires of me. As I read through the whole Bible this year I am currently in the book of Deuteronomy and last week I read this… “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.” Deuteronomy 10:12 NLT

What a refreshing reminder that what God requires from me is to fear and worship Him, to aim to please Him alone, to love Him and serve Him with all of my heart and soul! These are the things that I hope to grow in this year. I believe that from loving God and serving Him with all of my heart and soul, we will have the impact that He desires this year in each country we go to! 

6 Comments

  1. Wow! What an beautiful story of faith. Despite the things come against you, you stood firm and took it to the word. The Deuteronomy verse is perfect. We miss you and we love you Renee. Keep up the good work

  2. Wow!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us and being so transparent. You have no idea how much your journey minsters me. Blessings always!

  3. Good word Renee. I appreciate the back story of how you connected with your host in Kosovo. Such a blessing that church was to your team. Love how you know what God requires from you. A lesson we all need to learn!

  4. Hi Renee, Good to hear from you! Sorry it took me a little time to get back to you, just trying to get some extra things done. Glad to hear that you were welcomed so warmly by the people of Kosovo. Renee I think we are all learning all the time, it never stops but praise the Lord it allows us to keep getting closer and deeper in the Lord. I am finding for myself that the Holy Spirit wants me to set apart some time each day to just sit still and allow the greatest teacher of all to be my private tutor. It’s amazing what the Holy Spirit can share with us if we give Him the time and space. There is always something new. My prayers continue to go up for you and the group. Blessings John

  5. Such a beautiful “refreshing reminder” as you so eloquently wrote. Thanks so much for sharing and allowing God to multiply the lesson! Love you and miss you!!

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